Mementos at mother’s

When I was suddenly arrested in 2004 (see episode one) my mother and brother gathered most of my things and put them in my mother’s basement, a few states away. When I was paroled a couple years later I wasn’t able to take everything with me at that time. As a result I left a pile of “non-essential” things there.

Fast forward to now. Still working on getting my driver license back (again see episode one) and now No-Contact with my mother for over four years. It’s been so long I can’t recall everything I left there, but it’s basically all souvenirs and mementos. It would be like a surprise to me to see what’s in there.

But the one thing I’d want the most, would be the bass guitar my late father gave me for my 18th birthday, a cream-colored Peavey Foundation. A friend in college airbrushed a custom paint job on it. One of a kind.

If I were to find myself mobile again in the near future I sometimes wonder if I’d be able to get these things back, and if so how would I? Would I contact my mother and see about arranging a pick-up? It’s like a ten hour drive btw. Would I think perhaps she’d be likely to refuse so maybe try just showing up? I sometimes wonder if perhaps she’s already thrown these things away, under some ruse of needing the space.

And lastly, I wonder to myself, no matter how much I’d like these things back, if it’s worth having to come face-to-face with her. It’s one thing to talk about it dispassionately, but I wonder how my body would react, heart racing, dizzy, palms sweating. I frankly wonder if it’s even worth being in her presence for that time, or if I should just write those things off for good.

Or maybe I can get em back after the funeral 🤞